A Tale of Twin Titties in Two Cities

In the life of every man and lesbian, regardless of education level or mental capacity, there will inevitably come a day when you find yourself chuckling at (or attracted to) inanimate objects that look like boobs. Municipal engineers apparently like to fuck with us on this one. 

There's this ode to 1970s cement and silicone off a bland stretch of SoCal I-5:

San Onofre (Calif.) Nuclear Generating Station

And then there's this:

Greenpoint (Brooklyn) Sewage Refinery Plant

A tad less blatant in design than the nuclear duo, the sludge digester knockers are topped with what appears to be some kind of NASA-designed, high-volume breast pump. As you can see, the pump's operators have a nice view of the Empire State Building along with a not-so-nice view of the adjacent Smelly-Ass Newtown Creek, proud host of an oil spill that was three times the size of the Exxon Valdez one. Is this the first time a city has added extensive cosmetic touches to a sewage plant? No idea. But it received applause from a few architectural critics when it opened in 2007. "Community leaders" actually held a lighting ceremony, replete with intensely monotone speech-reading, for the thing. 

I still say the San Onofre ones look healthier. In any case, we should look at the existence of both sets of luscious hooters/essential utilities as yet another testament to the coasts' cultural superiority over the flyover states (you really think these make it out of the planning stage in Bumfuck, Oklahoma???). It's also another opportunity for Fox News to point out that we're rapidly devolving into Europeans.