"...the 1970 Chevrolet Nova is a lot better automobile than O.J. Simpson."

Apologies for going AWOL. Excuses abound: "Work deadline" is one. "Not writing anything" is another. "Early-onset delirium tremens" is better still. Let's just say I'm missing a shoe.

To recap: I still have a job, the Giants are satisfactorily inconsistent, and the Niners picked up a guy who could prove to be the second coming of John Taylor but is just as likely to channel fellow 10-pick J.J. Stokes. Also, John Starks has nothing better to do this Sunday than to ref some dbag kickball league in Brooklyn.

And since we've come this far, let's just charge the post to sports and toss in a vintage ad that would be funnier if both Potrero's Finest and Detroit's Worst weren't so utterly fucked at present: