The Importance of Proper Dog/Bun Ratio

We were in the rafters at MSG last night to watch BronBron dump 52, 11 and 10 on the Knicks. Among the highlights:

The Celebs: The second quarter is apparently when the arena Jumbotron guy decides to get close-ups of all the famous pretty faces and pretty famous faces in attendance. I think my grand total from last year (in only like three games, but still...) was James Blunt, who warranted a couple "oh, that guy"s from a 60 percent-full house. Last night's game was sold out, and the celeb faction repped hard: First up on the big screen was Chris Rock, ten seats down from Spike Lee near the scorers' table. Today's tabloids ran a photo of Lebron taking a break to give Spike dap. I'd accept said dap too if I thought it might convince the dapper to sign a megalo-contract with my team come 2011. Two minutes later they flashed to the token black Spice Girl, who's a.) still alive; b.) promoting an exercise video or some shit; and c.) much less scary in real life. She scored courtsides as well. THEN they scanned up to Willis Reed, the one guy in the building who'd have a legitimate claim to a lifetime of comp courtside tix...and he's in like the third tier. It was kinda sad. Apparently Whoopi and Jay-Z and Puff fucking Daddy were all in the mix as well (check out the ridicu-fotos of Diddy flashing cash to buy kettle corn and poor Bobby Bacala sitting next to Whoopi and Ciara but nobody gives a shit; come to think of it, Bobby actually got Jumbotron Love at a game I was at last season versus the Bucks or some embarrassment. They probably just comp him seats so the Jumbotron dude has a reason to get paid on slow nights). Apologies for this fanboy rant -- it was just cool to sit and look down from the 12th deck while sipping on a fine spiked beverage and be like, "Hey, Chris Rock's scratching his nose, maybe. Spike Lee's baggy sweatsuit looks really comfortable."

The Delicacies: The biggest hot dog on the menu is, indeed, impressive. Concessions people's approach to the bun, however, is one-size-fits-all. Which it most definitely does not. The result is like squeezing a whale into a pair of Tic-Tacs connected by another Tic-Tac. That analogy worked better in its original form. They also sell delicious Cokes that are complemented exquisitely by most brands of mid-range Kentucky whiskey, the latter preferably served in a reused plastic Tropicana orange juice bottle.

The Last Rebound: Win in the bag, Lebron had his teammates clear out on the last Knicks shot of the game, then almost broke an ankle falling out of bounds after lunging to grab a meaningless 10th board. People cheered like we all got free tacos or something, which we didn't. He became the first player to score 50 in a triple-double since the 70s with that rebound, which was essentially the basketball version of Michael Strahan's record-setting "sack" of Brett Favre in 2002. And speaking of Fav-rah, check out his douchy cousin, Trent. He's into sexy shit like "Premises Liability Defense," proving that the family is good at offense and defense! Ugh. Somebody smack me with a frozen Eggo.